The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A month went by and the bandit thought he was safe. He was celebrating his good fortune at a local bar, when a Texas Ranger walked up and dragged him out into the dusty street. After he realized he had a communication problem, the ranger poked his head back into the bar: “Anybody here speak English?” he shouted.

“I do, senor” came the reply.

Then come here the ranger ordered. The conversation between ranger, translator and bandit started. “Did he rob the bank?” “He did.” “Does he still have the $250,000?” “Yes,” again. Then the ranger pulled out his Colt .45, held the barrel of the gun to the bandit’s head and cocked the trigger. “Make sure he understands this next question real good.” the ranger told the translator. “WHERE’S THE MONEY?”

In Spanish the frightened bandit blurted out that the money was hidden in a waterproof bag at the bottom of the well in the town plaza. The translator looked up at the ranger: “He says he is not afraid to die, you fricking Gringo!”

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A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.” “It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer.

“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?”

“Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn’t even smile at the judge.” Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.

As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!”

“I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them” said the lawyer.

“But, I did send them” said the defendant.

“What? You did?” said the lawyer, incredulously. “Yes. That’s how we won the case.” “I don’t understand,” said the lawyer.

“It’s easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff’s business card.”

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Pictures of retro advertising designs. Some of them are really cool.

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Ouch! She is definitely not going to get the gold.

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McDonald’s or McDog ?? Where would you prefer to eat??

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