The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize - and decode - these KEY “SIGNS.” Figuring out these moronic little indicators can save you a lot of time and effort.
1. Woman won’t unlock car door for man - Doesn’t engage in oral sex
2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - No foreplay
3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - Prefers virgins
4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way - Is a virgin
5. Can’t hail a cab - Impotent
6. Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif - Compulsive Don Quixote
7. Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant - Compulsive Don Juan
If someone tells you that liquids can flow upwards and that the wine glass put upside down wont spill, but suck the wine…you would certainly call the paramedics! But, now you can see it yourself!
ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman’s eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND - a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
