A man was out of town on business. While sitting around his hotel he became bored. So he thought to himself, “Hmm, a beer would be really nice right now.” So he began to wander the streets of the unfamiliar city, looking for a bar. And, after a few minutes he came across one. He casually went inside and took a seat at the bar.
The bartender walks up and asks the man what he is drinking. Anxiously, the man says, “Bud Light please.”
The bartender then asked what the name of his penis was. The man looked at him with confusion and said, “What are you talking about? All I want is a Bud Light and, besides, I have no name for my penis.”
The bartender, calming the man, said, “Look around, all you see is men. That is because this is a gay bar. And the tradition is, when you order a drink, you state the name of your penis. Then I’ll serve you a drink.”
Some fun things to do the next time you’re on one of those long international flights to kill time…
1. Pinch the stewardess’ butt as she passes.
2. When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.
3. When there’s any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.
4. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
5. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
6. Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
7. Run down the aisle screaming, “He’s got a bomb! He’s got a bomb!”.
8. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
9. “Accidental” soda spill on the dork next to you.
10. Give someone a coin, saying “Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don’t”.
This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2010 that we’re not sure how funny this really is…
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number? Customer: Hi, I’d like to place an order. Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir. Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it’s 6102049998-45-54610. Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir? Customer: Huh? I’m at home. Where’d you get all this information? Operator: We’re wired into the HSS, sir. Customer: The HSS, what is that? Operator: We’re wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time. Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I’d like to order a couple of your All Meat Special pizzas. Operator: I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir. Customer: What do you mean?
