A veterinarian surgeon…
Posted: 20-Oct-2007 | Category: Jokes | No CommentsA veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.
At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice.
“Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?”
“Well, sort of”, said the elderly lady, “there’s a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can’t get to sleep. What can I do about it?”
There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied “Open the window and tell them they’re wanted on the phone”
“Really?” said the elderly lady, “Will that stop them?”
“Should do,” said the vet, “- IT STOPPED ME!”
15 Funniest Homer Simpson Quotes
Posted: 20-Oct-2007 | Category: Articles & Stories | No Comments1. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
2. Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
3. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
4. Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.’
5. You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
6. When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
7. I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
8. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
9. When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.
10. Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
